Come and Catch the Light after Rain
by Scroll Keeper
Summary: A reluctant pretender writes a letter to their spouse, expressing irritation with the Prince of Gotham, not quite whining about their deal with the Joker, and sort of grumbling about the police commissioner. Set after "The Dark Knight".


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any recognizable characters or settings nor do I intend to make any money off them.

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 **Come and Catch the Light after Rain**

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 _My Love,_

 _I must apologize in advance for the strange diction that follows. In case this letter falls into the wrong hand, I'm not going to make it easy for anyone to find out who I am._

 _You'll be relieved to learn that I have at last made contact with the target. I pity the poor woman who would ever take him to husband._

 _They call him the Prince of Gotham. I've heard gossip concerning him, but nothing prepared me for the real deal. The man was chilly. No, he was down right cold. I was in the warmth of his house yet it felt like I was in a snowy mountain during the brief time I was in his company._

 _Those eyes, they were brilliant green. No, hazel might be a better word. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, yet his eyes betrayed nothing._

 _My half-hearted attempt to provoke a reaction out of the Ice Sculpture was less than successful. He did not rise to the bait. No tantrums. No checking back to see that I would actually leave his house. Like a damn royalty, deeming the rest of us far beneath his lofty notice. He lived up to the prince part in his moniker at least._

 _Still, I cannot in good conscience say I did not expect him to send me away. My cover story was full of holes. Even the most stupid person in the world would not remember a non-existent engagement. And my target is far from being a fool._

 _He has no sense of beauty, however. It sounds terribly conceited of me, but my mirror does not lie. Whatever paranormal trick he had employed, the Joker was very thorough with my new appearance. My target is a fool for not immediately falling in love with it._

 _If you were here, you would tell me to forget my irritation. The man was not worth it. I might be forced to associate with him, but I do not have to like him._

 _Despite my whining, this Gotham is not all bad. While I long to leave its gloomy atmosphere behind and see you and our children again, I am currently living in luxury. The accommodation I have is worthy of royalty. It makes me feel terribly guilty to be so well off while you and the children live under a constant threat of harm._

 _To be fair, I do not know if our mutual clown would carry through, or even be capable of carrying through, with that threat, but I cannot risk offending him. If the clown wanted, for a reason he did not deem fit to share with me, the Ice Sculpture to have a betrothed, and chose me to play that role, I would do it. I will do everything in my power to keep you and the children safe. Perhaps even kill, but I hope it will never come to that._

 _In other news, I have made no progress on locating the masked vigilante. This one is as elusive as the one back home. Perhaps even more so. No sightings of him ever since he supposedly killed five people._

 _I have my doubt about that, you know. A man who went to great lengths not to kill would not suddenly go on a killing warpath. And I'll bet my last cent that the authorities know... Oh, all right, I'm sure at least the police commissioner knows the truth and covers it up in none-too-clean linen._

 _The clown wants this Batman to come out... and be his plaything. I do not envy the Batman. Oh, perhaps the part where he gets his name cleared might be worth an envy, but as the clown's eternal plaything? I shudder at the thought._

 _And who is this Batman, you ask? All right, you haven't asked, but I'll answer anyway. I have an idea, but I would rather not say it yet. Again, I'll bet my last cent that the police commissioner knows. Or, at least, is as certain as he can be without having any indisputable evidence._

 _Speaking of which, did he think I was stupid when he flat out denied his involvement with the vigilante? Or is this Batman so intimidating? Somehow, I cannot picture the police commissioner as someone who would docilely follow a criminal's order._

 _Or perhaps I'm projecting since, as you know, our police commissioner back home is not too inclined to let our vigilante run around with no boundary._

 _And you know that for a lie. I think I'm mad only because this commissioner acted in the exact same way I would have acted, were I in his situation._

 _All right, I'm sure you have enough of me grumbling like an old man so let us talk about something else. I start my new job tomorrow. Wish me luck._

 _It is almost midnight now. I am not exactly looking forward to another encounter with the Ice Sculpture, but, at the same time, I can't deny that he is going to be a worthy challenge. Don't be alarmed, my love. I am only interested in him in a purely academic sense. It's akin to...ah... admiring a piece of fine art in a museum. Except that I wonder how long I can refrain from kicking this particular piece of fine art._

 _Please be patient with me. Don't call me back yet. Having journeyed this far from our dimension, I will have to see my mission all the way through._

 _Eternally Yours,_

 _X X X_

Sighing, the letter writer crumples the paper, tosses it in the fireplace and watches as the flame reduces the letter to ashes.

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 **A/N:** Thank you if you read or only clicked to see what this story is about. Hope I haven't disappointed (or confused) you too much. ^^;


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